February 2011
Homeamde jokes
So I went to the doctor the other day because my anus has been bleeding uncontrollably and he says not to worry because apparently my molesterol levels were just a little too high.
Listen
A little something to get me going
Play
You are only as interesting as the toys that line your bedroom wall…wait, those are your friends
Question of the day
Am I too sick to masturbate?
“Potluck (n): from the ancient native american word loosely translated to, “Invite friends over for food, then allow curry dish to lightly rot on kitchen counter for three days until gay roommate throws away.”
—Tyler Caelifer Cherubael Cannon Wright
“Did you see the hot ass boy fuckin from yesterday?”
—BelAmi
“I wonder if other people find as many crystals in their bed as I do?”
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“The clitoris of the female whale is about 8 cm. long. Its apex is said to be “triloped” and is directed backwards. The whale clitoris, in common with the other sex organs of the largest cetaceans, are the biggest of any animal.”
—
“This is it” I thought in a voice that can only be thought and not heard and was most heartily seasoned by a melange of alcoholic beverages running the gamut from boxed wine (pink) to moonshine. My cross from practising heterosexual to at-the-time occasional homosexual would be brought to fruition by a weirdly attractive childhood friend and enough hooch to pickle a Corgie on a lovely fall evening down next to the river. Twas a celebratory fish fry for my closeted lesbian aunt (fitting, no?) and the evening devolved very quickly from me reading her cards aloud (she had forgotten her glasses) while she cried to a heavy petting session and the worst innuendo I’ve ever thought I remembered….be careful of what you wish for I suppose
