So I went to the doctor the other day because my anus has been bleeding uncontrollably and he says not to worry because apparently my molesterol levels were just a little too high.
You are only as interesting as the toys that line your bedroom wall…wait, those are your friends
Am I too sick to masturbate?
“This is it” I thought in a voice that can only be thought and not heard and was most heartily seasoned by a melange of alcoholic beverages running the gamut from boxed wine (pink) to moonshine. My cross from practising heterosexual to at-the-time occasional homosexual would be brought to fruition by a weirdly attractive childhood friend and enough hooch to pickle a Corgie on a lovely fall evening down next to the river. Twas a celebratory fish fry for my closeted lesbian aunt (fitting, no?) and the evening devolved very quickly from me reading her cards aloud (she had forgotten her glasses) while she cried to a heavy petting session and the worst innuendo I’ve ever thought I remembered….be careful of what you wish for I suppose